This post is dedicated in memory of Etya Sarah bat Yitzchak ha-Levi. May it be an aliyah for her neshama.
By Shoshana Rosa

Now, do you want to know how long it
take to make one loaf of loshon hara sourdough? One word. And, no worries:
loshon hara bread almost always comes out perfect. Measurements don’t matter,
nor the temperaments under which you add your loshon hara. Once the word is
out, whether it was slipped, handed or tossed, all you need is a dollop of
water, a dark place for the mass of goo to ferment for a day or two, and whalla
you’ll have got yourself one genuine loshon hara sourdough. By the way, almost anyone
and everyone can try their hand at this sourdough sensation; it usually comes
out delicious. In fact, the only thing that ruins it is a needle eye’s worth of
piety.
The Chofetz Chaim begins practically
every paragraph of his monumental work, the laws of Shmirat haloshon (guarding
oneself from evil speech) with a premonitory that indeed words that are true
are also considered loshon hara. The pious sage repeats himself with good
reason; we are an easy to delude species. It comes with the territory, namely,
free will. Our words must be handled with care, the Chofez Chaim cautions,
whether they express themselves in writing, via a wink or nose crinkle. Also,
it doesn’t matter if the speaker of loshon hara happens to be denigrating
himself as well as someone else; his words still turn into sourdough.
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