The secret behind long lasting (and functioning) relationships is a well timed silence. People get angry and sometimes, many of us are the guilty holders of moments we lost it and blurted things we knew we'd come to regret later. Meaningless phrases like, "You never loved me!" or "I never loved you!" etc. often get hurled back and forth. Matters need not spiral out of control this way, though. If one takes the mantra, "Lose the drama, keep your mama" seriously, he will find himself heaving a sigh of relief after his anger has subsided.
That being said, the quality among long term relationships stems from those whose bonding experiences are not just about self control. They are rife with loved filled glances and quiet humility. By humility, I mean, those moments when one opts for silence instead of shouting his actions from the rooftops. The reader might ask, "Wouldn't it be better to let one's beloved know that he took out the garbage or that he remembered to remind her parents to call her on her birthday? After all, powerful connections are formed from these every day communications." Yes, perhaps that is true. However, the idea of giving from a place of selflessness has no need for explanation. The receiving party can already feel their affection; that's stronger than words.
People have speculated over the origins of Rav Yisrael Meir haKohen's pen name, the Chafetz Chaim. After all, a Torah scholar is usually called after the best of his works, which in the Chofetz Chaim's case was the the Mishnah Berura. A story that is little known to the general public sheds light on the mystery. During the writing process of the Mishnah Berura (a clarifying of the Torah laws in a section of the Shulchan Aruch) the Chofetz Chaim used to sneak into the nearby forest of Radin, his Polish home town, and cry till the soil beneath him became wet and muddy. He would beseech G-d over and over, "Please don't let people know that I am a learned man. I do not wish for the outcomes of this work to allow me monetary or honorary gain. It was all for you G-d." His strongest desire was to give to a place of complete nullification. From this wellspring of unconditional love came the compilation of laws on Shmirat haLoshon.
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