Modesty is Attractive

This post is dedicated in memory of Etya Sarah bat Isaac. May it be an aliyah for her neshama.
Elisheva Maline

I overhear women from time to time grumbling to their friends that during a date, some men don't make proper eye contact. "I get nervous when guys aren't looking at my face," one of my friends once told me. "Sometimes," she continued, "I just feel like yelling, 'Eyes on me, please." 

Whenever a chat colored with these complaints pass me by, I just nod my head and agree, "Sure, honey," and continue sipping my chamomile tea. Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "If you want boys looking into your eyes instead of staring elsewhere, why do you dress like that?" Recent research has negated the myth that woman need to flaunt themselves in order to get a husband and actually, as far as looking for Mr. Right, most surveys have informed us that the opposite is true. 

Obviously, pulling a plastic bag over one's head is not up for discussion. Every woman deserves to feel good about how she looks. But take a moment to ponder which image you are trying to project. How do you see yourself? Before you grab your car keys or call a cab, take a glance in the mirror and ask yourself, "Does the way I am dressed reflect how I want people to view me?" 

Moreover, since the lines between the terms attracting and attractive are often blurred, I'd like to distinguish between the two. Perhaps your outfit is a tad provocative: you've got on heels that are spiked and six inches, perhaps your makeup is loud. Chances are men are considering only one thing when they catch sight of you.

On the other hand, when you dress more understated, you are giving others the option to take your personality into account. Do not equate the phrase "less is more" with  becoming the next Carrie. No one is declaring, "Dowdy is in and hot property is out." However, if you are looking for a long term relationship, or a the very least want men to respect you, take a moment to reassess your look. How you dress can be a reflection of your inner beauty.    


MarSea Modest Swim & Casualwear said...

hence the need for modest swimwear . . .

marci rapp said...

hence the need for modest swimwear

Unknown said...

I used to ride trains in New York. It's a tight space and there really isn't anywhere to look but at ads on the train or at other people. Sometimes you end up reading one ad 20 times before you just close your eyes so that you don't get into a fight with someone for looking at them by mistake. New York is a tough place. But, it reminds me of what you wrote here about not having anywhere else to look if something is in your face. Yes, if your clothes are revealing cleavage and all kind of other things, then people are going to look whether they want to or not.

Yashar LaChayal

The majesty of the Western Wall

Nefesh B'Nefesh