EmunaDating: Well, that was fast

By: Samantha Hulkower

There is an older woman in my neighborhood that I hang out with on a regular basis. Some might call it chesed or bikur cholim - she is a Holocaust survivor and doesn't get out much because of her health. Really, she does me a favor by hanging out with me once a week.It never fails that I learn something about myself or life during our visits.

This week was no different. I'd gotten a frantic call from the woman, we'll call her Bubby. She couldn't access her bank account to pay her rent because her debit card had expired, and her account is in an Eastern European country, so it's not as simple as going down to the local snif (branch) to straighten things out. She also also couldn't call the country where her account is located on the phone she has a problem seeing the numbers, and asked if I could come over to help her straighten it out. Long story short - the whole thing was a balegan (mess). For no good reason, the bank had actually issued her out two cards. As it turns out, the information we tried entering was incorrect, because the automated system was anticipating the other card. Then, when we tried to speak to an agent, since they heard two voices on the line, they automatically cancelled her PIN number, as part of their protocol. She tried to explain she is an elderly woman and has a younger friend there because she gets confused, but the operator didn't want to hear it. Fourty-five mins later, we were worse off than when we had started. The more we tried to straighten things out on the phone, the more complicated things became, until we were finally both left exhausted and frazzled. As I was leaving, she apologetically said that the other card should be arriving this week, and asked if I still wouldn't mind helping her.

So once again, today I went over, and we began the same process with the new card. And what do you know - we were able to set it up one, two, three. We enjoyed the rest of our visit together, and as I was leaving, Bubby smiled and said, "When it's right, everything's quick and easy!" As I was walking home, those words lingered in my head. It did just feel different compared to the first time we tried to activate the card. When I had realized we had the wrong card, I tried explaining to Bubby we should just give up because it won't work. And with the right card, things were a breeze. It reminded me of a couple of my close friends who had been almost engaged. The whole time they were dating their respective guy, they felt like they were missing something, but it looked on the surface like it should work, so they tried really hard to make it fit. Only after investing serious time and effort and after a lot of aggravation did they end it. For each of these friends, the next guy they dated they ended up marrying, and after fairly short engagements. They both said, "When it's right, it's easy."

Sometimes while dating we are trying to make the wrong debit card work - it looks like the right card, so what is the problem? If we are willing to stop fighting to make it work, we'll save ourselves a lot of aggravation, and then when the right card arrives in the mail, it will be as easy as one, two, three!

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